It has been awhile. My job keeps me insanely busy during the holidays. Haven't had much to say.
As expected my mistake ended that night, with that kiss, and one fraction of a glimmer of hope. It has been snuffed out and I do believe it is gone forever. I don't even think about him anymore. Isn't that odd? How did that happen?
In other news, been dancing around this other guy, who is several shades of bad for me. He is sweet and he is kind, someone that I know would never dream of hurting me, but he is lost in this world. He is in a dangerous place and slowly drowning in his own misery. Misery brought on by really bad choices. I love him. Not like I loved my mistake, but he has been in my life for years...and he is sweet and kind....and he deserves so much better. I have tried to help him, but he seems compelled to continue his own mistakes. I told him I care for him, in a time where men are on my list of things not to do. He knows me. I tell him my secrets. I confide my fears and anger, my happiness and sadness to him. He never tells me anything except he likes me, too, and now he has trouble looking me in the eyes.
Not sure what to do with that...
I had a wonderful, though busy, holiday. I love spending time with my family. It was nice to feel the joy and warmth that the holidays bring...bc now its back to the every day drudge. Which is OK, too.
I know I wrote about being depressed before, but I think that has passed for now. I've had some time to level off. I am good for now.
